"I'm
broke"
"I
can't do that"
"I
could never tell her that"
"Why
me! Why does this always happen to me!"
"I'm
not talented. I'm not educated. I'm not good enough. Blah blah
blah blah!"
<Insert
yawn here>
OK.
Now I want you to picture someone's finger firmly planted on
the PAUSE BUTTON OF YOUR LIFE! That's what you set up every
time you whine about how something out there is making you feel...or
making you do...or keeping you from...
Maybe
you are less fortunate than some. Maybe you do
get fewer breaks than do Fred Alice and Bill. And maybe you
started out on the wrong side of the tracks. However miserable
your circumstances shape up to be, you ALWAYS
have two choices: Stay there and have some cheese with that
whine; or GET MOVIN'.
The
ONE AND ONLY thing KEEPING you where you are is YOU and
YOUR CHOICE to not move. It doesn't matter how you got here,
it ONLY matters what you choose THIS VERY SECOND to do about
who and where you are. Ooops! That second's gone. But hey,
you've got another here. Aint life Gracious!
The
cry of the Victim (that includes all you jaybird blamers, shamers
& "controlled") is the most pompous of sounds!
To even suggest that "THEY OUT THERE" are
at fault for who & where I AM IN HERE is a very egotistical
claim!
"But
he abuses me" & "She mistreats me" &
"I deserve so much more". One of my favorites
is the cry of those in long-term relationships who complain
about who their partners are! Go ahead! Go ahead and tighten
your leash real tight and give up that leash handle to your
partner!
There's
a real benefit to staying victim! The victim's aim is to excuse
him/herself from having to change, having to grow, having to...having
to...face themselves. Now, I'll stop for a moment and honor
all you who have been abused. I have no intention of being insensitive.
I've been there myself. And yet I will not stop with just sympathy,
because that leaves us with alotta "awe's" and with
little power. Most of us, like it or not, are functioning from
a root fear of facing ourselves. That's what
keeps us overly busy, surrounding ourselves with friends, jumping
from one courtship to another, staying in dead relationships
as well as staying in blame. It's our "staying busy with
something" that keeps attention off ourselves.
The
thing we fear the most is facing the notion that, indeed,
"I'm
NOT OK"! And so we design our entire lives around
not having to take a peak.
Victims
conveniently keep themselves from looking flawed while at the
same time keeping "the bad guys" in charge of their
very destiny. They must not allow anyone to see their "less-than-perfect"
side that's responsible for keeping their hand under the hammer.
Funny thing is, the less-perfect side is the very side that
others want to see...that's the most lovable
side of us all.
Here.
Try these on for size. If one or more fit you, then take that
valuable piece of info and let's begin the De-cloggin' baby!
- I'm in a relationship
where I feel stuck.
- I don't feel there's
any hope for advancement in my work.
- I cannot pull myself
out of this!
- Love doesn't work.
- I don't know how
I got myself into this!
- It's not my fault!
- I'm being abused.
I want you to recognize
and verbalize what your prison is. And then I want to see
you OWN how right now you are perpetuating
your state...WITHOUT referring to anyone else except YOU,
and without assigning the judgment
of FAULT to anyone including to you. This isn't about fault,
it's about gaining Power baby!
Now. NOW we're poised to reclaim our Power to begin creating
more of the things we truly want!
