Imagine
everyone runnin' around wearing everyone else's britches but
their own. Mom snatching her infant's pants to wear, a man wearing
his wife's jeans...everyone grabbing to wear another's britches
and making others wear theirs!
What a hodge
podge the world would be, eh? OK. Bear with me. I haven't totally
lost it...yet.
Look around
you. That's what we're doing with our upsets. I've been claiming
others' upsets as my own while pawning mine off onto everybody
else. What a mess!
OK.
Everybody! May I have your Attention! Are you listening?
On the count of three I want everyone to give all upsets back
to their rightful owner so we can restore some sanity around
here!
UPSETS.
I want you to leave here with a higher awareness of the importance
of being upset, and of the damage we're doing by misplacing
blame for our upset.
Most of
my life I've been busy either making my upset someone else's
fault (blame),
or taking their upset on as my fault (guilt).
I
have some great news for you about Upset. Wait. Stop. What's
that I hear? It’s your upset. Wait wait…don’t
push it or drink it or excuse it away this time! Listen to
it. Shhh. Listen
to what it’s telling you.
I remember
hearing as a kid, “now look what you’ve done…you
upset her”! I once thought upset was bad.
So I did what I could to keep from upsetting folks. And in that
process of trying not to upset them, I lied. I know, "lying"
is a strong term. But that's what holding back or avoiding my
truth is! My self-appointed role in my marriage was to do what
it took to keep the peace.
I eventually
grew into a new understanding about upset. Gosh, I had spent
so much energy keeping away the very emotion that was so desperately
trying to be present so it could teach
me. So it could help me heal and grow and understand who I am.
My upset was and is the signal for me that something wants out!
This was a major piece to the puzzle that I was missing, realizing
that UPSET'S NOT BAD, IT'S MY TEACHER. And I had been locking
the teacher out of the classroom!
