Your
partner or child or parent comes at you with their upset. We
make an instant choice to...
Resist
it or to NOT resist it.
Oppose
it or Allow it.
Deny
its reality or accept that
it's as real as nanners in the
puddin'.
REACT
to it
or RESPOND to it.
Your
choosing to not react to or resist what's being said to you
allows you to do something different...something that'll lift
you over mountains! In that place where you choose
to NOT react, you are then free to empathize & understand.
And that my friend is where miracles
are born! Your ears are open and your dream-bone is plucked!
You feel the power of loving while they feel loved by you.
It's
there...right THERE...that holds a key to my experience of
life itself. REACTING sends me down a long repetitive landing
of stairs, bumpidy bumpidy bump, full of knocks & bruises
all ending in a thud. On the other hand my RESPONDING
takes me on a journey of growth and insights and Ah-hah's.
Reacting
keeps me from experiencing life, the other keeps me
fully present & engaged with
it. The first is firmly rooted in Fear & Ego. The
second in Faith and Love.
We
come by it honestly, really. From childhood we learned it well!
Simply avoid what hurts and make friends with what feels good.
And golly, if I can just eliminate as much pain while gaining
enough pleasure....THEN I'LL BE HAPPY!
Right?
Nope!
We
are constantly either
REACTING (Re-creating) or
RESPONDING (Creating).
Today,
this very day, your life is either a darn re-run or a preview.
Re-acting keeps you in yesterday. Creating (choosing to respond)
keeps you present
while setting up your tomorrow. One is a choice to be unconscious,
the other to be conscious. One leaves you a frustrated victim
while the other brings power & freedom.
Consider
this: you choose to react more times than you may realize.
Are you
a fixer or a pleaser or a solver? Do you avoid or do you downplay?
All these are ways of REACTING. Your partner is hurt. He or
she spews their upset. Any of the above is simply your efforts
to control their upset. Here, try this: Try LETTING them be
upset. Try hearing their upset vs. trying to "do something
with it". Try zipping the lip and just understanding what
it's like in their shoes without someone having to be right.
WHOA! NOW
you're on your way to Love that goes thru the roof!
When I am
in a state of reacting...during those emotional fights or those
times of high stress...I'm NOT BEING
MYSELF. I'm kicked into a Reactive Mode (I begin RE-ACTING
out my past, accessing & implementing how I "coped"
with this same feeling in my past). And the results are
predictable, just like they were the last time, and virtually
never bring me what I desire!
Here...TRY
THIS... Consciously
start RESPONDING vs. REACTING. Take Responsibility ("able
to respond") and stay present with what IS. That's the
path that always holds the outcome you desire, whereas Reacting
usually only brings you broken pieces and shattered hearts.
My
friends, I want you to get what you want. Let's become more
aware of how the cow chews the cud. Open those eyes and live
more ON PURPOSE.
How?
By
takin' that "C" in the word REACTING,
and scootching it over to the front and making it CREATING.
There! Now you're poised to GET
MORE OF WHAT YOU WANT in life and in love. It's not complicated.
It's simple as pie. "Complicated" is what we've
been making this thing.
When you
feel yourself wanting to SNAP BACK with a reaction, STOP....STOP.
Take a deeeep breath and regain CONTROL of your own destiny.
Ask yourself, "is the reaction I'm fixin' to hurl out there
going to bring me what it is that I truly want"? Rather
than only seeing the "fluff" and the "argument"
that's being hurled at you, begin to SEE THE PAIN. Listen
past the words and hear what's not being said.
No longer
allow the insanity of your Reacting to keep you in that endless
whirlpool of repeated lessons. Regain your Power to make a CHOICE.
Then Choose to Create what you want rather than just settling
for what you get.
the
puddin'.
