And that's
what we do. We keep upset from taking place. Why? Why do we
get all excited when our partner is upset? Why is it hard for
most of us to sit still with them in their upset or with ourselves
in our own upset, rather than try and fix it or defend against
it or to slip away from it?
WE DON'T
WANT TO FEEL OUT OF CONTROL. It's scary out there in that land
called "NOT-IN-MY-CONTROL". It's called FAITH.
It takes
a choice of faith to sit with her in her upset and NOT have
to control its outcome. In that tiny moment when I see that
my partner's upset, in that tiny moment when I STOP myself from
running to her rescue (taking her upset as my own) or running
to my rescue (defending against her upset at me)...in that moment
when I refuse to REACT
to her upset but rather choose to ALLOW her to have
it ...GLORIOUS things get set into motion.
Now I must
tell you right here that, if you've spent a lifetime rescuing
your partner from her/his own upset and then suddenly you stop
...stand back! Sparks will fly. You can't just turn a barge
around right away.
When I
refuse to react to her upset, when I make the choice to BE
WITH HER in her own upset (loving her) while letting her
BE upset, she then gets to FACE HER OWN FEARS. That's right...HER
fears. 
And
that's GREAT NEWS! Because it's only in that place where she
faces her own issues (they've been following her all her
life) can she then heal and move past them. And when she
heals and moves past them, guess what won't be back
a million more times to rear its ugly head...her ISSUE!
When
I grow from healing, that issue no longer "owns me"
anymore in relationships and my life circumstances.
My
friends, letting miracles work in your relationship is more
entertaining than any movie I've ever been to! I have spent
most of my adult life keeping my partner stuck (keeping her
from her own growth) by jumping in and claiming her upset and
squashing it. And gosh, all along her upset was only trying
to point the way for her to learn and grow and move forward!
I'm
happy to announce that I'm a retired "fixer" and a
very excited miracle watcher! It takes guts to let go of having
to know the outcome. It takes guts to relinquish control of
life that I could never control anyway. Let go! Let God!
