You
gotta be "outta your mind" to
have faith!
Look
at me, trying to describe a non-brain thing
with my brain. Sheesh! But this thing called
faith is critical to a life that flows,
so I gotta give it a shot!
What
comes to your mind when you hear the word
FAITH?
Church?
God? Religion? Hope? Prayer? Ritual?
Bless
our pea-pickin' hearts...we keep trying
so hard to define what things are, don't
we? But this thing called faith, by its
very nature, is in a sense undefinable!
My
biggest lesson on faith has been this:
I
DON'T HAVE TO KNOW.
Aha!
What a break thru for me that was (and continues
to be)! I once HAD to know. Had to understand
why she thought the way she did. Had to
know what the outcome was going to be. Had
to know where we stood. What "we
are". My need to feel in control severely
limited me
from my own possibilities in my life and
from just BEING
ME! My need to feel in control worked
against any Miracles
that were waiting to take place.
Little
did I know that my HAVING to know was completely
counter to the faith I was claiming at the
time. I talked Faith & walked Fear.
Here's
how my faithlessness kept me tied to life's
starting gate.
The moment I worry that
things won't turn out OK, I then begin operating
from fear that they won't. And how that
fear shows up is in my teeny tiny attempts
to manipulate the outcome in matters of
love and life.
In that moment that I fight
my partner and try to change her thru my
anger, I'm without faith. Or when I shut
down or stay home when I'm scared, I'm without
faith. Faith is not in that place where
I panic, where I BELIEVE
that things will not turn out OK.
And so I make the decision
NOT to let go but rather to fix or fight
or flee or fool or hang onto. And here's
the juicy part...in that place of trying
to manipulate
life I LOSE IT. I do not allow it to breathe
and expand and take the natural shape and
form that it wants to take. My faithlessness
(my not letting go and letting God)
keeps my life severely limited to my own
finite vision. And on top of it all, my
attempts to control always comes up empty!
It's a bust! The life of the controller
is a darn bust that's never quenched because
he/she can never truly find the control
that they're seeking!
"Now hang on hotdog!
Are you saying to not care or to passively
not try to make things work out or happen?"
Not at all. My faith-filled
life is marked with more activity and risk-taking
than ever before!
I see Faith as
my harness on the roller coaster. When
that bad boy clicks into place around
my shoulders, I KNOW that I'll finish
the ride! I know that I'm going
to be OK. I know that I can let go and
enjoy the ride with all its screams and
thrills. Same with Faith. My faith allows
me to LET GO AND ENJOY THE RIDE. Yeehaw!
