Bullies,
bosses & hot-heads OH MY! We've all seen
'em. Those dad-nab controllers!
But
wait! what about... Shy, Peace Keeping, Shaming,
Advising, Seducing, Accommodating. This list goes
on and on. Holy cow! More controllers! Yep, over
the years we've each gotten so good at manipulating
our way to get what we want, we don't even know
we're doing it!
"I have to hold back
this and only show that in order to get what I
want."
"If it's gonna get done
right, I gotta do it myself!"
I can't do it! I can never control
what I want to control! And that makes me....outta
control!
The
controller in me is all about my efforts to
manipulate in order to force MY desired outcome.
“My will (not thy) be done.” Funny
thing is, I have yet to successfully control
anyone no matter how slick or overbearing I
become. But by golly I keep trying! What a ridiculous
hobby, to continually try something that never
works. Kinda like climbing a darn pine tree
with roller skates on!
We
controllers pull out our bag of tricks…
our “talents”. Some of us withdraw
or become shy. Others become bitchy and challenging.
Still others deny and avoid while others try sugar-coating.
Then there’s the shamer and then the blamer.
Mercy me, Controllers are everywhere! To be sure,
there are all kinds of ways to Control in order
to force a desired outcome.
What
about you? How do you control? Pay attention,
this is a really powerful question for you. It'll
take you to WHY some areas of your life aren't
working, because our attempts to control are the
actions that keep causing the most damage. And
so this information can start you on a very
important path to a better life.
As
for me? I was all about keeping the peace. Any
peace-keepers out there? Yeah! I did whatever
it took in order to control the environment
from becoming nasty. I held back information
about what I wanted or how I was really feeling
(that's a polite way of saying that I lied),
I avoided talking about any kind of boat-rocker.
And I remember underneath it all quietly resenting
the notion that I had to hold back. Resenting
her that I couldn't be me! Man, is that UpsideDown
or what?
Yep.
I blamed her for my inability to be honest.
Peace
was my agenda. Sounded good on paper! But at
the bottom of it all, as with all controllers,
there was my personal agenda of keeping ME happy
by keeping HER happy. Oh, my "story"
was great! "I care about her so I just
don't want to upset her!" How many
times have you thought or heard that? Are you
ready for the truth? OK. Friends, I'm convinced
that we avoid people's negative reactions to
what we do or say...so they won't call us a
jerk (figuratively speaking)!
It
really does bring to your life POWER
TO MOVE when you wake
up to how you've been nailing your foot
to the floor by trying to control life &
love.
