ACCEPTANCE.
It’s the vital "secret" to change
AND mastering this will bring you the things you've
always been trying to get by fightin' & forcin'.
Change
thru Acceptance will bring to your relationships
major shifts as love will want to begin sticking
around. Your parenting
will actually become less stressful and more effective
and enjoyable, and your life in general will begin
flowing with much more fulfillment and grace.
I've seen this extremely simple concept of acceptance
literally light up the barn for MIRACLES
in all areas of my life.
"But
if I accept the way she is, then I'm afraid
that she'll stay that way! I remember fearing
that years ago. I now understand that, my accepting
it is nothing more than my making peace with
the fact that IT IS. And in that state giving
it the RIGHT TO BE, I can then face it and deal
with it effectively.
The
secret here is, my ACCEPTING the thing keeps change
an option. But remember, my accepting anything
has less to do with "liking" it and
more to do with my realization that the sky is
blue and that pigs don't bark!
Think
about someone in particular whom you want to change.
So you don't like the way it is, she is, they
are, you are. OK. You may not like it, but it
IS what it IS. Right? Regardless of how you feel
about it! They are who they are! Let them be that...they
are anyway, you just won't give it permission
inside your own head. And your not accepting that
it IS (your resisting its existence) is only keeping
you bunched while also keeping you from effectively
dealing with it.
Think
of the insanity of it! I don't like who she is,
so she just bops along in life continuing being
who she is WHILE I STAY BUNCHED ABOUT IT! ARGH!
I
LOVE this topic of Acceptance, because it's planted
me personally smack dab in the bleacher section
of a life-movie full of miracles and growth in
my own life. I have literally set people and things
free to Move by giving them my blessing for being
who & what they are. That only sets my innards
free to relax and love and engage in truth. Ahhhh!
Genuine
change in people or things or beliefs
comes from love not from resistance! And there,
my friend, is the million dollar secret to getting
what you want in relationships. My fighting (opposing,
objecting) keeps me tense, flinched and sets the
stage for butting heads and egotistical confrontation
(let alone sending the constant message that she's
not good enough the way she is!). My befriending
& accepting it or them sets the stage for
openness, intimacy, healing, contribution, action
and growth.
"HANG
ON! You’re off your rocker there cowboy!
You’re saying that if I want my husband
to change, then I have to accept the things
about him that I want to see changed?"
Exactly!
Acceptance is the first base to change. You want
him to quit smoking? Then stop trying to "MAKE
SURE he quits smoking". I love that one!
"I'm only trying to help him."
Horse hockey! You're trying to change him because
you want him to change! It's time to get
honest my friend! Here's how you HELP HIM...
Tell
him go smoke not just one, but 20! Give him your
active support to do this thing HIS way. Tell
him to go Enjoy it! Love it! Puff away until you
get what you need! Then "let's talk about
what you really want. Let me explore this thing
with you."
Man,
this is gettin' good! It deserves another page...
