Love is an energy, not a thing. It's a privilege
not a right. It's an experience not a possession.
Let's let it stop right
here, you and me. Let's take responsibility for how we've
pushed love away. Unless
you want the rest of this reading to feel like you're running
uphill backwards with a cinder block tied to your one foot
and a splinter in the other, let's shed what we really MUST
shed for now. Let's go ahead and throw overboard the dead
weight called..."IT WAS HIS
FAULT" or "SHE WAS NO GOOD" or "WE
JUST OUTGREW EACH OTHER". We'll replace it with the good
news...YOU
CREATED WHAT YOU CREATED WITH LOVE! Ready to heave it
overboard? Ready....HEAVE!
Splllash!!!
Sink!
Now...now
you're ready. Now you're ready to take a gander at love from
a whole new perspective, not from the place of your experiences
but from the place of possibilities! Your experiences are limited
and of the mind. Possibilities are endless and born of the soul.
Ready to Flip Love?
I'll begin where all great
thinkers begin...with the end in mind. With the WHY behind
the What.
The why actually determines your success/failure with anything
in your life. WHY are you in this or any relationship? Your
honest answer to this tells us the story of all your relationship
outcomes. What's your WHY? For companionship? To have a family?
To have sex? To keep from being lonely? To feel loved by someone?
Tax break (your secret's safe with me)?
The WHY sets up how you
"do relationship". If you’re
looking for companionship, then it shows up on that night
when your partner decides to go out with friends rather than
watch a movie on the couch with you. “Hey, this
isn't what I bargained for!” If you’re in
it for the sex, it shows up the minute you don’t “get”
sex when you want it. Your WHY installs your expectations
of your partner which sets you up for a very interesting ride!
WHY-ACTION:
Consider your WHY. Adopt a new one if you must or create
one for the first time. I’d like to see your WHY have
nothing to do with “getting” anything from
your partner. You’ll be disappointed as you eventually
push away the very thing you’re not “getting”
as your resistance sabotages the love. Rather, I want to
see your WHY have everything to do with discovering and
creating YOU while “giving love”.
I personally
am in my relationship to LOVE my partner, to experience
myself and to learn more and more of who I am (I’m
convinced that our love relationships are the best classroom
for God to point the way back to myself & who I truly
am). Hold everything in your relationship with fascination
and hunger to learn. Believe me, the love and intimacy you
desire will be a natural result. The things you were always
trying to "get" will come to you without fight.
...and STAY
you. Retire the “other you” that you
thought you needed to be in order to lure or keep 'em. You can't
sustain that anyway. After awhile you can’t remember who
you are anymore, feeling lost and directionless, and it shows
up in all sorts of ugly! When you choose to be someone else
by holding back the real you for fear that they won’t
like you, you wake up one day feeling sinky & wondering
what you got yourself into. Losing yourself in the relationship
ends up pushing away the very love you were trying to keep!
BE-YOU-ACTION:
Fall in love with yourself. Really! Look for ways to BE YOU.
Hint…look for different ways you stop doing
what you love, stop being yourself and where you’ve
compromised the things you value. Notice specifically when
and where you hold back from telling the truth or act purely
out of trying to please vs doing what you know is right. Let
your relationship become a STATEMENT OF WHO YOU ARE
as you hold true to who you are, no apologies.
looking for companionship, then it shows up on that night
when your partner decides to go out with friends rather than
watch a movie on the couch with you. “Hey, this
isn't what I bargained for!” If you’re in
it for the sex, it shows up the minute you don’t “get”
sex when you want it. Your WHY installs your expectations
of your partner which sets you up for a very interesting ride!
