When you blame others,
you give up your power to change.
Robert Anthony
Are you
really ready to hand the reigns to your life over
to someone else? That's what happens everytime you
blame.
Ah, it's the ol' running from not feeling
OK about me! Why else do we blame? To keep the focus
off me. We think that our blame will serve us, but it
only keeps us hunkered down in our nest. Feeling OK
about myself in this moment is a high price to pay for
cutting off my power to learn and grow and change.
I
was stuck financially. Why? Because...because...of the
economy. Yeah, that's it...the economy! And so I neglected
to look at my part in the deal and simply changed the
radio station whenever that darn newscaster mentioned
the rebounding economy. Funny how much peanut butter
blame stuck in my ears!
My
blaming keeps me from seeing reality while ripping from
my grasp my own ability to learn the critical lesson
of the moment that will help me shape the destiny I
desire.
My
reasons for blaming are fairly simple & clear. On
the surface I'm just finding fault. But underneath?
It's my crafty way of keeping the attention OFF myself.
It's also often my less-than-noble attempt to further
my own cause at the expense of another.
The
backlash is this. When I blame I shut down my own
growth potential. Pinning it all on "them"
negates my need to look at the active role I played.
It's like letting my "blamee" keep his
finger on the pause-button of my life! Because you
see, if I played no or little part in getting me
here, then I have little power to get me out!
Blaming
CUTS OFF. It's a dead end. It isolates. When blame is
assigned, the books slam shut & class is dismissed.
Blaming
is a judgment. And
the
judgment gavel severely stops life's flow.
I've
gotten good at it over the years! It was so convenient
in my marriage! My blaming my wife only affixed blinders
firmly over my eyes, blinding me from view of my own
responsibilities. It wasn't until I quit blaming her
that my growth sky-rocketed.
I
remember holding on so tightly to the notion that, "if
SHE would straighten up then we could get out of this
pickle"! Ever feel that way?
I
also remember feeling stuck. Like I was in a prison.
See, when I was living in blame, I shut myself off from
considering
things. From letting ideas in. From receiving anything
life may have had to give me.
Look
at the with crossed arms. How easy would it be for her
to receive a packaged gift if you tried handing it to
her? She couldn't even receive it! Her arms are crossed
and so she can receive nothing!
Your
heart is no different. When it's bunched in the
posture of blame, it can receive nothing. No lesson.
No gift. That's where I was. I remember how freed
I felt when I gave up. I gave up having to be right
(and consequently having
to prove her wrong). I gave up calling her bad
or inadequate (that was all from my own sense of
inadequacy!). I gave up the game, because that's
all that blaming is. A game. A game I never won
at. For if I won the moment I then I lost my freedom.
Look
at the with crossed arms. How easy would it be for her
to receive a packaged gift if you tried handing it to
her? She couldn't even receive it! Her arms are crossed
and so she can receive nothing!
having
to prove her wrong). I gave up calling her 