Golly,
what a backwards
life! If we don't like our circumstance then we
fight it (bitch about it, wrestle with it, resist
it, deny it, run from it). That's kinda like believing
that the tail wags the darn dog! Our circumstances
are the results of what we're calling forth because
of what WE BELIEVE, not visa versa! If I believe
on some level that I'm not worth stickin' around
for, I'm not going to put myself in that place of
being left behind!
I
believed I wasn't "cut out for wealth"
so my habits and my choices brought less than
wealth And I hated the lack of wealth. A friend
of mine has carried a low self-worth thru the
years. She has repetitively set up an abusive
existence (she just didn't deserve anything more,
right?). She fought it while believing deep down
that she deserved it. We set up our circumstances
and then we fight them. I know a man who believes
he's unlovable and therefore keeps folks at a
distance. He complains about having no friends
as he continually "proves" that he's
unlovable.
No
matter how hard we fight to change our environment,
we always settle back to WHAT WE BELIEVE. We can't
escape
it! We are always moving toward what we've bought
into as being true. It's how we unknowingly keep
our sanity! After all, my life Can not and Must
not be in contrast to what I hold as true.
This
is why we see so many lotto winners who were catapulted
from poverty to wealth, eventually 
return
to poverty (with the exception of the Beverly Hillbillies
of course!).
Our
beliefs show up in how we interact with folks around
us. If I believe that I'm not attractive then I
won't hear compliments that I am nor will I approach
attractive ladies. If I believe that women aren't
to be trusted then I'm guarded with every woman
I speak with (and thusly dictate the direction of
every encounter). If I believe that money is hard
to get or that life is unfair or that Ms. Right
only comes along once, I've set up in advance how
I do life in these areas and that significantly
affects my results in life.
OK.
You may not like this but I must suggest to you...
If
you feel disrespected in your relationship, it's
your inner self-belief that's allowing it to continue.
It
greatly serves me to become
a student of exactly what it is that I DO believe.
Many of my beliefs are simply unconscious and so
they secretly sabotage things that I do. Raising
awareness of these beliefs awakens me to exactly
HOW I'm creating the things that I DON'T want in
my life...and consequently help me do life more
"on purpose" as I create what it is that
I DO want.
Notice
how trying to change your environment is like climbing
a pole wearing roller skates. Set your sites on
your Beliefs. Changing your belief will bring an
eventual and more permanent change in your circumstances,
as everything in your life "out
there" tends to conform to what it is that
you believe to be true. If you don't like "out
there", then own it! Own that it's only a reflection
of "in here". Then become a student of
what it is that you really do believe (know in your
heart). Your hint: That icky belief will be, in
some form, your feeling not good enough. You can
try and try to become someone better. But if your
efforts counter what you truly believe, then you
may as well try something easier like running against
a stampede. The force of your belief will direct
your life experiences like the wind directs the
sails.
Falling
in love with yourself is the first base to shifting
your beliefs. And shifting your beliefs naturally
shifts your experience of life. Look for ways to
honor YOU. Recognize that "You're OK cuz God
don't make junk". Openly acknowledge your goodness
& worth to this world. Begin overriding some
of those false childhood beliefs that have held
you hostage.
