We were
also taught very young how to fight and resist when
we didn't get what we wanted. And golly when we
threw pouting and holding back in the mix, we had
a powerful arsenal of Manipulation weapons! And
as you and I have both discovered, these games were
only that...games. To make our environment and the
people in it cater to us and give us what we wanted.
And those games just don't work as adults, and that's
where the 
core
of our problems rest...in our games of manipulations
to bring about what we want. Unfortunately many
of you reading this right now are not even aware
of how good you've gotten at manipulating...that's
how good you are...you're manipulating yourself!
Holy cow!
The worst
part of this trap of believing that "out there"
will make me happy "in here" is that,
it prompts me to Make "out there" cooperate
with me. And that looks ugly as I find myself pushing
people away and frustrating myself in the process.
A quick test for yourself on this is to consider
how often you find yourself getting angry or feeling
stressed about anything or anyone in your environment.
They've got a grip on your joy my friend! Or more
accurately...you've assigned them that
grip.
This
all was an astounding break thru for me. Actually
it's nothing new...been around since dirt. It
just took me awhile to wake
up and see how the cow's been chewin' the
cud all this time (I may be slow, but I'm alotta
fun at chili cook-offs)! This one discovery has
literally transformed everything & everyone
in my surroundings from the reason for
my upset/joy to the reminder of my inner
state. You see, if I don't like what I see out
there, then I simply take a peak at what "in
here" is bringing it all about. Mercy does
that make like simpler!
It
shifted my approach to things and people from
MANIPULATION to APPRECIATION. From things that
threaten my joy to things that point
the way to finding my joy.
<You
might wanna go back and read that paragraph again>
This
one's easy! If you're living UpsideDown...then start
living RightSideUp!
I know
I know...speak English cowboy! OK. I once was literally
bringing myself just the opposite of what I wanted
in life. I didn't mean to! I was just doing the
things that brought me what I DIDN'T want. To make
people stay I would hang on rather than let go.
To make my relationship work I would work hard at
making HER more lovable rather than BEING my adorable
self! To break old habits I would fight and resist
'em rather than stepping back, seeing clearly WHO
I AM, and then consciously making new choices that
reflect who I am.
Get
crystal clear on WHO YOU ARE. Then get clear on
WHAT YOU WANT, on WHAT YOU VALUE. Then get clear
on specifically HOW you're standing in your own
way (what choices you're making to keep you from
having these things). Here's a hint...what are
you NOT doing and what list of excuses have you
attached to not doing it? Also, look at what upsets
you or what you keep putting off and procrastinating
on. These areas are representing what you fear
most. Contact
me and let's do some 1
ON 1 work with this area...it can go FAR in
getting you over a hump and on your way.
